If you read the first draft of a manuscript and then read the published book, you'll often find a lot of changes --- characters develop new personality traits, there's an alternate ending, the language is more polished and specific scenes take a new turn. As part of her blog tour for WHEN AUDREY MET ALICE --- a novel where bored First Daughter Audrey Rhodes discovers Alice Roosevelt's hidden diary and is inspired to make her time at the White House a bit more fun --- Rebecca Behrens tells Teenreads about her favorite scene to write, and how much it changed along the way. Read on and learn all about Rebecca's writing process --- as well as an awful lot about golf carts!
My favorite scene to write in WHEN AUDREY MET ALICE is the one in which Audrey takes a golf cart for a spin on the South Lawn --- with some unintended consequences. This scene was part of the very first draft, but it changed a lot before the version in the book today. (Warning: mild spoilers ahead!)
In the earliest drafts, Audrey is inspired to go for a drive after reading about Alice Roosevelt’s fondness for racing around in her red runabout (and collecting speeding tickets). But Audrey’s not allowed to drive the golf carts* used for transport on the grounds, so she sneaks past a guard to snatch the keys and steal one. Audrey the Car(t) Thief was exciting --- but I realized that it was a bit jarring based on her character’s arc. By that point in the story, Audrey is learning to be a little more responsible, and cart theft would be a confusing step backward in her journey. What if instead of stealing a cart, she’s allowed to drive one around, under supervision? Once I decided that was the way to go, I needed to think of a new complication for Audrey to encounter.
The next drafts had Audrey get permission to take the cart out, but accidentally run it into an ornamental shrub while speeding. It was during these rounds of revision that my editor helpfully pointed out that the speed Audrey’s cart drove at wasn’t very realistic --- most golf carts can’t drive faster than 15 miles per hour, and I had her clocking in at 30. (I also realized at that point that many golf carts are now electric and have push-button ignitions --- so she wouldn’t need to turn the key. My revision process involved a lot of fact-checking random things like golf carts.) It was time to make some other changes --- like adding a political protest outside of the South Lawn fence to distract and fluster Audrey into a collision. That’s what happens in the final book.
While I was revising WHEN AUDREY MET ALICE, I had the opportunity to visit the White House grounds on a tour. Walking around the South Lawn was so exciting—I could squint my eyes and picture my character zipping around. It also helped me figure out where I wanted Audrey to drive and what landmarks she might encounter. I loved touring the White House Kitchen Garden and Beehive, so I knew I had to mention them in the book. I decided to change the scene a little more so Audrey could drive past some of the plantings, like the papaya tree. In fact, that’s where she wound up having her cart accident in the final version. One of the neatly lettered garden signs is the only casualty.
I tend to believe that the more you revise a scene, the richer is becomes. This particular scene required a lot of editing to get right, but it’s now one of my favorites because of all the small details I was able to sprinkle in throughout the process. And it’s also a favorite just for being incredibly fun to imagine and write.
*I should add that, to my knowledge, golf carts aren’t routinely used at the White House. That was a made-up detail that I added, explaining it in the world of the story as being part of a green initiative to cut down on car usage. But I did see some other small vehicles being used by the landscapers while I was visiting --- so if golf carts at the White House aren’t currently a reality, they are at least plausible in fiction!
Growing up in Wisconsin, Rebecca Behrens dreamed of becoming the following: a marine zoologist, an Olympic swimmer or an author. One out of three isn't bad! Today she lives in New York City, where she works as a textbook editor. Some of her favorite things are Central Park, bright shoes, running and doughnuts. Visit her at www.rebeccabehrens.com.
