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November 7, 2006

I Approve This Message

Posted by admin

It's Election Day. I am excited. This means that we can go back to inane commercials for products things instead of inane commercials and on-air screaming from candidates. I think going forward candidates should only be able to talk about what THEY are going to do, not what the other person has, or has not, done. It would save a lot of time and a lot of money.

I knew how bad things had gotten on Sunday night when my 11- year-old son recited an entire campaign ad for "Linda Stender; She's a Spender" from start to finish. He did it word for word during dinner. Now if only he could remember what I ask him to do the same way. Maybe I should have a slogan and an opposing viewpoint about room cleaning, picking up clothes and only eating in the kitchen. He seems to have this campaign thing down pat.

The phone in our house rarely rings, but recently it's ringing so much that I would think we were popular or something. It's all political calls! After today I can answer the phone and assume it will be a friend, or at least not some recorded voice telling me who to vote for. So far I have been awakened from a sound sleep, rushed out of the shower and torn myself from blowdrying my hair by annoying campaign calls. I seriously considered not voting for anyone who calls.

I voted very early this morning thinking that if I do that the phone will not ring. Let's see if this works. The only recorded voice I want to hear is the library telling me a book has come in.

Now I am preparing for the next phase. Election coverage. Tonight there will be over-analysis out the yazoo on this subject. Seriously. Let the talking/ranting.shredding begin.

For the record, I am Carol Fitzgerald and I approve this message.

One more thing. I got a lot of mail from people asking me how my son's Jack Bauer costume worked out for Halloween and whatever happened with the Halloween Grinches' decorating. Here's the scoop.

Sooooo...I think I have the Jack Bauer costume all under control for Cory and that I am soooo smart. Sooooo the night before Halloween Cory says he wants to be something more imaginative, because his friend Josh is going to be a dead Italian chef (this I have to see)....sooooo he wants to be something more costumey. Or fun. Something retro. Like...a ghost. He thinks it would be amusing to be a ghost since no one is a ghost anymore. I personally thought Jack Bauer was pretty clever, but I roll with this.

I tell him I do not have a white sheet that he is cutting holes in. And then I wonder when was the last time I saw a ghost trick-or-treater. I cannot remember.

I continued layering the ingredients for baked ziti and say, you can be a Roman Emperor in a toga. No clue what made me say that except perhaps because I was cooking Italian food. I tell him to go see if I have a solid sheet in the closet for the costume. He comes back with a king-sized white monogrammed sheet that I have never used. My sister in law worked at some fancy linen place called E. Braun on the Upper East Side and she thought this was a good present one holiday. Probably 500 thread count or something exotic and costs like hundreds of dollars. Cory wraps himself in it and starts parading around the kitchen.

Laughing I tell him he cannot wear he pulls those off and I also tell him he needs a he puts that over the sheet and then gets his sandals. So now we have a sheet wrapped around a boy in sandals. Who is telling me he thinks Under Armour under this will be a nice effect.

Oh...and can I make him an olive branch crown? You know, in my free time. Last I looked we had no olives in the backyard, but I am trying to think where I last saw vines. Those might work.

And he wants to go out trick or treating with Stephen and Josh...and can I take them since I like this kind of stuff. Sure...why not?

Then another obstacle.

As my husband is traveling for the week, my older son,Greg, realizes that means he has to deal with the little kids trick or treating for candy and that is just tooooo huge for him to do alone. Sooooo he calls his friend, Steph, to help out. Steph cannot come since she has to do candy duty at HER house, but she instructs him on what to say to the kids --- "you look so cute and here is candy" --- and tells him she is available by phone if he needs her tomorrow. I cannot stop laughing. I never thought answering the door for trick or treat as something to sweat or ponder.

The things you have to teach your kids. A mother's work is never done.

So we put out one light-up pumpkin and we have one pumpkin on the front porch. And I turn on the blacklight and a spotlight that we normally use for the Christmas wreath, after I realize two of the front porch lights are out. The first trick or treaters come. They ask where is the music, the light show, my husband in a crazy costume. And I realize that this is my personal version of a suburban Charlie Brown Halloween nightmare. All the good candy we have will not make up for our failure to decorate!!

Years ago my friend Carolyn told me that as a mother if you do something once, it's going to be a tradition. I should have remembered that famous line the first year I decided to be the neighborhood Martha Stewart of Halloween.