Archives - January 2002

The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people on New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again?

Rudeness is better than any argument; it totally eclipses intellect.

The only sin is mediocrity.

Nothing quite new is perfect.

The most disadvantageous peace is better than the most just war.

Nothing sickens me more than the closed door of a library.

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast.

Perfection is a trifle dull.

Life seems to love the liver of it.

There is no sinner like a young saint.

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty Gods, or no God.

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Never look backwards or you'll fall down the stairs.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

I'm aging as well as a beach party movie.

I believe in the dull lie --- make your story boring enough and no one will question it.

Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only.

I am what you have made me. Take all the praise, take all the blame; take all the success, take all the failure; in short, take me.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.

There seems to be so much more winter than we need this year.

You see, but you do not observe.

Anecdotes are so much tastier when spiced with expensive names.

Writers, alas, have to be fools in public, while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.

Afraid is a country with no exit visas.

There is no perfect time to write. There's only now.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that even genius has limits.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Rumor is seldom at a loss for answers.

It is difficult to like anybody else's idea of being funny.