The experiences of grief and loss are universal ones. Recognizing that, one might expect that over the millennia humans would have achieved some measure of ease in dealing with them. But as Kimberly Brown points out in NAVIGATING GRIEF AND LOSS, they pose persistent challenges for all of us, which makes the need for reliable coping strategies like the ones she offers more urgent.

Brown’s thoughtful, empathetic book is brief but impressively comprehensive. Her teaching isn’t confined to obvious situations, such as facing the terminal illness or death of a loved one. Other chapters address a variety of disruptive life events, including divorce and job loss, or examine the complexities of forgiveness or guilt. And she’s interested in more than loss on an individual or family scale, devoting a chapter to collective loss during a crisis, like the one the world has experienced with the coronavirus pandemic. She explains how to approach all of these challenges with self-compassion, recognizing the need to push back against the well-meaning but flawed advice that the grieving inevitably will receive at some point to “get over it” or “move on.”

"Whether you’re an experienced meditator or someone new to it, you’ll...take from this valuable book a collection of useful tools that can help you confront some of life’s most trying moments."

The chapters of NAVIGATING GRIEF AND LOSS all follow a similar format. In the first few pages, Brown relates stories, including some drawn from her own experience, of individuals struggling to cope with loss. In her case, she returns frequently to the emotional issues she faced in dealing with the death of her mother, a longtime alcoholic, as well as her grief over the loss of a close friend to cancer. These stories provide a tangible grounding in the real human experience of grief, and it would be surprising for anyone reading the entire book not to find at least one that will resonate with a personal experience.

Each chapter’s second section outlines a specific meditation-based practice, featuring easy-to-follow, step-by-step instructions to help cope with a particular loss. In the chapter on dealing with anger provoked by loss, for example, Brown describes something she calls “Hearing the Hurt,” which “encourages you to befriend and soothe your body and offer love to your heart and mind.” She includes some journaling exercises, as well as a proposed ritual to mark the passage of seven weeks after a death.

Brown is clear that the point of meditation is not to change ourselves; it’s “a way to change how we relate to ourselves --- it’s not a way to bypass difficulties or to ignore our human experiences.” While it’s certainly feasible to implement her recommended practices based on the detailed descriptions she outlines, some readers may find it helpful, at least initially, to disregard her instruction to put aside all devices before sitting down and perhaps supplement them with a basic introduction to a meditation app or other online resources.

As a Buddhist meditation teacher and Certified Mindfulness Instructor in New York City, Brown takes a certain risk of distancing some potential readers by labeling her recommended practices explicitly as “Buddhist,” a spiritual path she was drawn to “because I wanted to know how to help make a more equitable world and be a kinder person.” But while she draws on ancient sources like the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path to provide the foundation for these practices, there’s nothing here that should prove problematic for readers coming from other religious traditions, or none at all.

Despite her deep commitment to the value of meditation, Brown wisely is careful not to offer it as a panacea. Profound losses can induce profoundly challenging mental states, and there is no universal method for effective self-care. In an early chapter, discussing the loss of a young person, she encourages parents and grandparents to “seek additional support to guide you through this loss.” She reiterates that advice several times in other contexts, including describing her own resort to a psychotherapist to deal with the condition known as “complicated grief,” and it’s counsel readers would do well to heed. At the end of the book, she also offers a brief list of resources for those seeking help in coping with grief.

I’ve had a consistent meditation practice for more than seven years, one that includes regularly sitting with a Zen Buddhist sangha. Though I’m familiar with many of the practices described in NAVIGATING GRIEF AND LOSS and the theory underlying them, I came away from the book with fresh insights and a new appreciation for their wisdom. Whether you’re an experienced meditator or someone new to it, you’ll likewise take from this valuable book a collection of useful tools that can help you confront some of life’s most trying moments.