April 2015

I am not one who flocks to celebrity memoirs, but I loved A FINE ROMANCE by Candice Bergen, which I listened to on audio. The book is about the male loves of her life --- her husbands, Louis Malle and Marshall Rose --- and the person who lives in her heart: her daughter, Chloe. The book is wickedly honest. She admits her flaws, noting that she is not an easy woman to live with. She was married to her first husband, Louis, for 15 years, but they were apart for about one-third of that time. She talks about why that worked and why it didn’t. In this telling, there are lessons for all of us. She handwrote 400 thank-you notes after Louis’ death; if anything from this book, I learned that she is polite and definitely schooled on doing “the right thing.”

She later finds love again and marries her second husband, who is a New York real estate developer and philanthropist. They build a life together, though she is from “the show business tribe” whereas he is from “the business tribe;” she did not know a lot of people who left the house with a briefcase in the morning and returned for dinner. She is trying to change those ways with Marshall --- to compromise.

But her real love is Chloe. She thought long and hard about having a child, but when she decided to become a mother, she was all in. With equal parts love and laughter, she tells stories about Chloe’s birth, her childhood (working hard to broaden her horizons beyond the glitter of Hollywood and its trappings), and how their relationship has grown as Chloe has become an adult. Many moms will relate to her trying to be hands off while also guiding from a distance. When asked to define herself, I think “mother” would be the title that would be the chosen one over wife, actress, award winner, or any other definers.

I laughed a lot while listening to this book. A LOT. And I loved that! There’s a self-deprecating tone that says, “Here is who I am, I admit it. I am trying to change, but I probably will not.”

She’s relatable throughout the book, and I was not star-struck for even a moment. Instead I thought that hanging out with her for an afternoon would be a rather good time.

In something that may surprise you, I am going to say that this would be a great book for book groups. For all of her stardom, Candice Bergen is a lot like other daughters, wives and mothers. That alone will make for some great conversation. Layer in the anecdotes, and I can see the discussions going on long after the appointed hour.