Editorial Content for Mama: A Queer Black Woman’s Story of a Family Lost and Found
Contributors
Reviewer (text)
Nikkya Hargrove presents a bold, frank chronicle of a harsh upbringing, a willingness to love and be loved, and the ways in which her aspirations overcome what at times seemed like impossible barriers --- race and gender issues among them --- to adopt her younger brother and create a secure home with her beloved wife.
Hargrove’s mother, Lisa, was a neglectful, drug-addicted, often incarcerated parent who gave her daughter the soubriquet “Mama” --- not knowing what truth lay in that choice. MAMA begins with the birth of Hargrove’s brother, Jonathan, whose entry into life was threatened by Lisa’s ingestion, two nights before his birth, of a combination of crack cocaine and other substances she couldn’t recall. Jonathan would become the responsibility of his 14-year-old sister. His father, Karl, cheated on his partner to have sex with Lisa.
"Hargrove’s dynamic perspective has brought her story to a satisfying dimension that will please her readers, just as it pleases her diligently, determinedly created family."
Such strands in Hargrove’s familial relationships were to some extent ameliorated by her undeniable intelligence, obtaining financial support to attend and graduate from Bard College, and meeting other females who would help her to explore her sexual longings. While in college, it became clear that Jonathan must be adopted, and Hargrove put that process in motion. She had to engage in conflict with Karl, whose scurrilous intentions and actions were somehow overridden by authorities, such as Child Protective Services, because of his proven paternity. She eventually won custody but would need to cooperate with Karl for scheduled visits with his biological son.
Meanwhile, Hargrove was experiencing housing and career shifts, battling poverty, and bonding with a Sri Lankan immigrant, Dinushka. Though their relationship had its trying moments, they would marry and become Jonathan’s legal parents.
Hargrove, now a noted writer of nonfiction who serves on the board of Bard College, offers a saga that will resonate on many levels. Calling herself a Black queer, she vividly recalls the tough trail she had to tread to get beyond multiple varieties of bias, along with the surprising, poignant instances of total acceptance. She depicts her encounters with Dinushka honestly, as situation-based without a tinge of doubt as to what she most wanted. The same is true of her love and sense of protection for Jonathan, who would need extensive mental and physical care, and is now in an atmosphere that she has designated as “a home full of love.”
Hargrove’s dynamic perspective has brought her story to a satisfying dimension that will please her readers, just as it pleases her diligently, determinedly created family.
Teaser
When her mother --- addicted to cocaine and just out of prison --- had a son and then died only a few months later, Nikkya Hargrove was faced with an impossible choice. Although she had just graduated from college, she decided to fight for custody of her half brother, Jonathan. Nikkya vividly recounts how she is subjected to preconceived notions that she, a Black queer young woman, cannot be given such responsibility. Her honest portrayal of the shame she feels accepting food stamps, her family’s reaction to her coming out, and the joy she experiences when she meets the woman who will become her wife reveal her sheer determination. And whether she’s clashing with Jonathan’s biological father or battling for Jonathan’s education rights after he’s diagnosed with ADHD and autism, this is a woman who won’t give up.
Promo
When her mother --- addicted to cocaine and just out of prison --- had a son and then died only a few months later, Nikkya Hargrove was faced with an impossible choice. Although she had just graduated from college, she decided to fight for custody of her half brother, Jonathan. Nikkya vividly recounts how she is subjected to preconceived notions that she, a Black queer young woman, cannot be given such responsibility. Her honest portrayal of the shame she feels accepting food stamps, her family’s reaction to her coming out, and the joy she experiences when she meets the woman who will become her wife reveal her sheer determination. And whether she’s clashing with Jonathan’s biological father or battling for Jonathan’s education rights after he’s diagnosed with ADHD and autism, this is a woman who won’t give up.
About the Book
In this searing and uplifting memoir, a young Black queer woman fresh out of college adopts her baby brother after their incarcerated mother dies, determined to create the kind of family she never had.
Nikkya Hargrove spent a good portion of her childhood in prison visiting rooms. When her mother --- addicted to cocaine and just out of prison --- had a son and then died only a few months later, Nikkya was faced with an impossible choice. Although she had just graduated from college, she decided to fight for custody of her half brother, Jonathan. And fight she did.
Nikkya vividly recounts how she is subjected to preconceived notions that she, a Black queer young woman, cannot be given such responsibility. Her honest portrayal of the shame she feels accepting food stamps, her family’s reaction to her coming out, and the joy she experiences when she meets the woman who will become her wife reveal her sheer determination. And whether she’s clashing with Jonathan’s biological father or battling for Jonathan’s education rights after he’s diagnosed with ADHD and autism, this is a woman who won’t give up.
Nikkya’s moving story picks up where Bryan Stevenson’s JUST MERCY left off, exploring generational trauma and pulling back the curtain on family court and poverty in America. MAMA is an ode to motherhood and identity, and to finding strength in family and community, for readers of memoirs by Ashley C. Ford, Natasha Tretheway and Dawn Turner.
Audiobook available, read by Grace Porter
