Editorial Content for Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

Let’s start by saying that Ernest Cunningham didn’t pick the best day to apply for a loan at Huxley’s Bank. And that might be because he didn’t actually select the day himself; Winston Huxley chose it for him.

Winston --- the founder, owner and current president of Huxley’s Bank --- invites Ernest there under somewhat false circumstances. He knows that Ernest wants to borrow money in order to open a detective agency. Ernest has made quite a name for himself writing murder mysteries and solved a couple of real-life ones. The problem is that every bank he has applied to (and there have been many) has turned him down. People in the industry talk, so Winston is aware of what’s going on. So why would he call Ernest to set up an appointment with him --- with great urgency, and on the very day his bank is robbed?

"EVERYONE IN THIS BANK IS A THIEF is complicated, fun, zany, a hoot, and a million other adjectives that Ernest Cunningham would come up with if he hadn’t died. Wait, did he die? That might be up for debate."

When Ernest goes to Huxley’s Bank that morning with his fiancée, Juliette, he makes some observations, which he does out of habit as a would-be detective. For instance, he notices several things about the receptionist, Michelle, and the security guard, Felix --- mostly that Felix pays more attention to Michelle than to the business of security. Michelle says that this is her first week but does not act like she’s trying very hard to be good at her job. Then a 15-year-old walks in with a piggy bank. An actual piggy bank with a squiggly tail. There’s an older woman, Laverna, with her granddaughter Cordelia, who is young, sickly and attached to an IV. Not to mention a priest and a filmmaker. They are an eclectic group of customers.

But this story is about a bank robbery. As it turns out, the bank robber didn’t choose the best day for his heist. By the time he gets there, Ernest and Juliette have finished their conference with Winston --- a somewhat unsatisfactory meeting if you ask Ernest. Huxley had invited him after all. The gun-toting robber wears a fencer’s mask and announces that he’s robbing the bank. But he immediately becomes agitated when there aren’t enough hostages. Eight isn’t sufficient? No, he needs 10.

Once the magic number of hostages is achieved, the robber’s demands are sorted out. What he wants is just one dollar from the vault, but the solution isn’t as easy as you would think. Huxley’s Bank is unable to open their vault. They’d been turning away customers all morning because Winston’s brother, Edward, changed the code and seemingly disappeared. That is why Winston called Ernest so urgently --- not to fund his new detective agency. Well, maybe ultimately he will. Let’s make a deal.

Honestly, from there, things turn weird. It all gets complicated. The hostages themselves are no angels, and Ernest really wants to solve the case of Winston’s missing brother. But then there’s a murder.

EVERYONE IN THIS BANK IS A THIEF is complicated, fun, zany, a hoot, and a million other adjectives that Ernest Cunningham would come up with if he hadn’t died. Wait, did he die? That might be up for debate. He has died before. I think it’s best if readers around the globe pick up this book and find out for themselves what it’s all about.