Editorial Content for Devout: A Memoir of Doubt

Anna Gazmarian shares hard-won revelations --- some emotionally harrowing and others spiritually uplifting --- in DEVOUT, a memoir of disability and determination.

Receiving a diagnosis of ADHD in grade school when she found it impossible to sit still or refrain from talking, Gazmarian would face challenge after challenge. Absorbing the fundamental religion of her family, she began to fear that she was possessed by demons. She also questioned if those who sought relief from distress and disease from Jesus were possibly suffering from the sort of mental torments that would plague her for many years.

"DEVOUT will touch readers who suffer from psychological difficulties, as well as those who simply wish to emulate her rare combination of strength and tenderness."

Seeking help from doctors, Gazmarian was prescribed drugs that at times seemed to offer no relief. She would be advised by other medical professionals to stop taking all such drugs, and sometimes she herself would choose to take or not take them. She was often deeply depressed, feeling shame for her diagnosis, which later would evolve into bipolar disorder and continuing to look for comfort within her Christian faith.

Gazmarian developed her writing talents while in college, helping her to see her personal dilemmas as transformative when put in poetic form. Meeting her husband-to-be, David, she found love, commonality of perspective and remarkable communication. With Gazmarian still battling her disorder and David sometimes lunging into his own bouts of depression, they joined a religious group that gave them a sense of increasing inner and outer approval. Her spiritual life deepened when she gave birth and has continued to reward her with a sense of hope, expressed plainly and poignantly in these vibrant recollections.

Gazmarian has developed a career in creative writing, with essays and journalistic pieces appearing in notable publications such as The Sun and The Guardian. It is clear from this engaging memoir that she has moved even farther into the realm of poignant and piquant prose, conveying here both the humor and the horror of her struggles. DEVOUT will touch readers who suffer from psychological difficulties, as well as those who simply wish to emulate her rare combination of strength and tenderness.

The book concludes with a message for Gazmarian’s child, offering the wisdom that “this world gives us plenty of reasons to stop, pay attention, and let awe overwhelm us.”