At the age of 27, Mary Cregan gives birth to her first child, a daughter she names Anna. But it’s apparent that something is terribly wrong, and two days later, Anna dies --- plunging Cregan into suicidal despair. Decades later, sustained by her work, a second marriage and a son, Cregan reflects on this pivotal experience and attempts to make sense of it. She weaves together literature and research with details from her own ordeal --- and the still-visible scar of her suicide attempt --- while also considering her life as part of the larger history of our understanding of depression.