At that moment she was incapable of perceiving that it would be normal behavior to take off a thick down jacket even if only staying for a short time. Mimicking normality is the hardest thing of all. It has a lack of concern that is impossible to imitate. Exaggerations show up and look like stupidity. But attempts to hide feelings do have the advantage that the observer does not know for sure. Taken to extremes, life is orientation after shame or glory, and when anxiety sweeps in there is a relief at not having left any definite tracks. Having kept a jacket on, having seemed awkward or nervous, these are not proof in the way utterances are proof. At most they are circumstantial evidence.

Ester Nilsson, who generally dismissed shame and glory because both of them made the individual a slave to the judgments of others, now sat there wondering how much or how little she should take her jacket off to ensure nobody noticed how much she was in love.

They talked about Hugo, his works, his stature and achievements. He asked her a little about herself but she swiftly brought the conversation back to him, referring to a sequence of images he had done of people at a bus stop in the rain, which had recurred over the years.

Why that theme, and why recurring?

Hugo got up, stretched his arms in the air, took a few steps, and tore down a note that was stuck to the wall. She saw his body from behind and wanted to rush over and hold it.