Rare is the glimpse into any closed or isolated religious community, and what glimpses outsiders get are often sensational or inaccurate. The ultra-Orthodox Chassidic Jewish communities are no exception; fiction and nonfiction alike is, more often than not, unsympathetic. On the other hand, Judy Brown's memoir, THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY, achieves a wonderful balance, depicting her family and community with both an honest critical eye and a gentleness.

On the surface, the book is about Brown's younger brother, Nachum, the “crazy” one of her five siblings. While years later, after many tests and trials, Nachum is diagnosed with autism, his behavior and needs in earlier childhood are misunderstood, and even feared, by the superstitious and very religious Chassidic community into which he was born. Brown makes deals with God, not usually to heal her brother, but to make him go away. But fasting for 40 days proves to be too difficult, and he remains the same, unable to clearly communicate, seemingly not in control of his movements and troublesome. Brown hears from those around her that her family is cursed, though she cannot imagine why. Her mother, after all, is descended from a holy Rebbe of their community, and her family is still an influential and venerable one in New York and Israel.

"The book is often frustrating to read and is emotionally challenging, not to mention occasionally disorganized, yet it is a worthwhile and riveting examination of family and love."

One rumor is that the family is cursed because her parents fell in love, and this strand of Brown's tale --- the history of her parents’ relationship --- is one that she wonderfully unwinds throughout the course of the book, all the while exploring her feelings about Nachum and the treatment he received by the people around him. Brown herself is not innocent in her treatment of Nachum, and the book is, as a memoir should be, an unpacking of her own thoughts and responses, not just a passive record of events and details. Her unique community, the personalities of her siblings, the stories of her parents and extended family, and Chassidic folklore and history all swirl around Brown as she grows up, and comes to define herself and assert her own beliefs.

THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY is indeed a love story in many ways. There is the love of Brown's parents for each other and their children, the love of tradition and belief, and the love Brown comes to feel for her brother. All of this love is complicated, messy and often uneasy. Though the world she describes is one that will feel beyond foreign for most readers, the challenges she details and emotions she describes are universal, allowing her story to transcend the insular world in which it exists. Brown refuses to let readers gawk at the otherness she depicts by ensuring that the joys and strengths of her world are as apparent as its sorrows and weaknesses. She tells her story with frankness, humor and a straightforward narrative style.

The book is often frustrating to read and is emotionally challenging, not to mention occasionally disorganized, yet it is a worthwhile and riveting examination of family and love.