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Kentucky

They still call her Book Woman, having long forgotten the epithet for her cobalt-blue flesh, though she’s gone now from these hills and hollers, from her loving husband and daughter and endearing Junia, her patrons and their heartaches and yearnings for more. But you must know another story, really all the other important stories that swirled around and after her, before they are lost to winters of rotting foliage and sleeping trees, swallowed into the spring hymnals of birdsong rising above carpets of phlox, snakeroot, and foxglove. These stories beg to be unspooled from Kentucky’s hardened old hands, to be bound and eternally rooted like the poplar and oak to the everlasting land.

 

One

Thousandsticks, Kentucky 1953

The bitter howls of winter, uncertainty, and a soon-to-be forgotten war rolled over the sleepy, dark hills of Thousandsticks, Kentucky, in early March, leaving behind an angry ache of despair. And though we’d practiced my escape many times, it still felt terrifying that this time was no longer a drill.

I remember when I was twelve, and the shrill air-raid alarm sounded in the schoolyard as we were dropping books off at the stone school over in Troublesome Creek. The teacher yelled out to Mama, “It’s a duck-and-cover drill,” and then rushed us all inside, instructing everyone to crawl under the desks and cover our heads. It had been scary, but I still felt safe under the thin, wooden lip of the school desk.

Today, at sixteen, I realized how foolish it was to think that a little desk could protect anyone from a bomb—how difficult it was now to believe that hiding would somehow save me from the bigger scatter bombs coming.

I shifted my feet on the stiff, frozen grass umbrella’d under the Cumberland Forest, breathing in the cold as Mama helped me into her heavy coat. In every direction, hoarfrost crowned the forest surrounding our cabin, its gray crystals shimmering through pines, hickories, and oaks, as the twining psalms of chickadees and warblers announced the morning. Overhead, a turkey buzzard glided low, scanning for dead flesh. I shivered as the ugly bird dipped lower and lower.

“You must hurry,” Mama chided for the second time, a pull of the cold escaping her breath. “He’ll be coming up here to escort us to court anytime now. Remember everything we told you. Everything we practiced.”

From the side of our cabin, the hood of a lawman’s parked automobile poked out behind a thicket of chokeberries, the first rays of sunlight flashing off headlights and polished chrome.

“I’m frightened, Mama.”

“That’s not a bad thing, darling daughter. It’ll make you more cautious.”

Two weeks ago, my parents hid me in the cellar when the law showed up to arrest them for violating miscegenation laws, after a peddler happened upon our family and remarked back in town about Mama’s strange blue color. Papa hired counsel, bond was posted, and yesterday word came of a revocation hearing while I stayed hidden in the cellar. Today they would go in front of a judge because of Papa’s parole violation on his 1936 banishment order and for daring to marry a woman of mixed color—a blue-skinned Kentuckian.

After Papa got out of prison, we’d moved over to Thousandsticks from Troublesome Creek, and our family had been living in secret here for the last twelve years.

I saw the fear in Mama’s eyes as she reached for the scarf. Her hearing was also set for today.

Hiding inside after the lawman arrived last night, I peeked out the curtains and saw him watching from his automobile to make sure Mama and Papa didn’t flee the county before the hearing. He’d stayed all night and was out there right now sleeping in his official vehicle.

“Mama, I don’t want to leave you and Papa. My home.” I swiped at my eyes with the cuff of her scratchy wool coat.

“You’re not safe here.” She wrapped a knit scarf around my neck.

“I want to stay and wait for you and Papa to come back after the hearing. I’m nearly grown, almost seventeen—”

“It’s too dangerous, Honey Mary-Angeline,” she said, including my middle names she and Papa christened me with years ago when one of the saddlebag preachers stopped at our small cabin hidden near the forest. Mama asked what name I’d like to take and I had said Mary, for her middle name, Cussy Mary Lovett, the distinguished Book Woman of these ol’ hills who’d worked for the Kentucky Pack Horse Library Project when I was little. Then I asked if I could have two, and added Angeline for my first mama.

Angeline and my first papa, Willie Moffit, had been Blues, too, but neither of them knew it, Mama had told me later. Angeline died in ’36, right after she birthed me. Mama never said much about my first papa, only that an accident caused his demise. By the time I turned six, I had lost most of the methemoglobinemia, the gene disorder that the ol’ doc over in Troublesome Creek said me and Mama and the Moffits had.

Doc explained that Mama’s parents, the Carters, like other clans ’round the country, were all kin to themselves, same as the royalty in Europe. Only difference, we didn’t have us a family tree like most folk. Instead, we’d gotten twisty vines that knotted, wrapped, and wound around each other. And although my hands and feet still turned a bruising blue whenever I got scared or excited, only those parts of me took on the strange color.

I was grateful I could easily hide the affliction. Affliction. A hard word for me to swallow, but it wasn’t nothing compared to hearing how Mama had been treated. How the law ripped her and Papa apart on their wedding day, calling them immoral and sinners and worse. Mama said I was only three months old when the Troublesome Creek sheriff had beaten and arrested Papa and threatened to lock Mama up, too, and throw me into the Home of the Idiots on that October day in ’36.

Lifting my palms, I watched the tint of a robin’s-egg blue rise and spread with a darker tinge outlining them. Nothing as dark as Mama’s color that covered every inch of her. I thought of the fright, scorn, and horror that would appear in others’ eyes when they glimpsed Mama’s ink-blue skin. The embarrassment, shame, and sadness leaching into Mama’s.

Once, when I was six years old, we were buying apples inside a store in Tennessee when the man behind the counter called Mama an ugly name and ordered us out. When I saw the hurt pooling in Mama’s eyes, a blinding fury like no other rose inside me. Unable to tamp it down, I threw my apple at the shopkeeper. He snatched up a thick wooden broom. Mama apologized to the angry man and scolded me as she rushed us out the door, shielding my small frame while taking the brunt of the shopkeeper’s battering strikes and raging curses.

Mama received eight stitches on her scalp. After that, I learned to keep quiet and lower my head—learned what a Blue had to do to stay safe.

I looked over at the lawman’s automobile, my stomach stitched in knots. Mama’s hands trembled as she reached into my coat pocket, pulled out a pair of gloves, and handed them to me. She’d been knitting these to hide my blue skin and to keep me, the last of our kind, hidden from the rest of the world. Papa, wanting to contribute, had stitched me black leather ones to switch out. They were my armor, a shield against folk who hunted the Blues.

“Can I go to Tennessee and visit Papa’s kin instead?”

“Great Uncle Emmet’s place is bursting at the seams. There’s fourteen in the home and they can’t squeeze in another soul. I’m sorry, Honey, there’s no one else.”

She flipped down the thick collar on the coat and straightened it. “I packed your brown journal. You be sure to keep writing those pretty poems of yours.”

I nodded, feeling the tremble on my chin. The journal was my favorite and what I wrote down all my poetry in.

“Papa’s packed your .22 for the journey,” Mama went on, fussing with the bulky leather-wrapped coat buttons, pausing to wipe away a tear.

I glanced at our mule, standing to the side and out of sight from the law, and spotted my rifle poking out of the rawhide scabbard.

“Take Junia and ride straight to Troublesome, and don’t stop till you reach Miss Loretta’s,” Mama said, her voice thickening.

The next county over was thirty-some miles away, but with all the rough terrain, narrow mountain trails, and countless switchbacks, it might as well have been three hundred.

“Straight to Loretta’s,” she said again. “If you meet any trouble, find Devil John.”

Moonshiner Devil John was one of Mama’s old library patrons who also lived over in Troublesome Creek. He’d been visiting us here in the Cumberland for years.

“Mama, I love Retta, but she’s got to be one hundred years old. How will she care for me?”

“Ninety-one, and you’ll help out Miss Loretta, and she’ll keep you safe till we can all be together again.” Her words were swollen in grief, pained.

“Yes, ma’am, I will,” I whispered.

“Listen to your mama, li’l Book Woman.” Papa stepped outside, his bright eyes now troubled and dark. He raked his fingers through thick brown hair, peeked at the law’s automobile, and dropped his voice to a whisper. “You need to hurry. He’ll be waking up any time now, and we dare not let him see you here. Remember, your mama has sewn a little emergency money into the lining of your coat. Be gentle with old Junia, and she’ll see you safely there.”

“Ol’ Junia never minds me like she does Mama,” I said stalling. “Can’t I stay just a bit longer—”

“We talked about this, Honey. Your mama and I have been accused of breaking the law. If the judge finds us guilty”—he stole a glance to Mama—“there will be a punishment.”

I tugged on Papa’s coat and squinted up at him. “But won’t your lawyer fight it? What—”

“Shh. We have to be prepared. Slip on those gloves now,” he said more sternly, more slowly, making me latch on to his every word.

If my folks were found guilty and taken away, the court could send me to the orphans’ home until I turned eighteen or, worse, to the House of Reform where the children wear chains and toil from sunup to sundown on the farms till they’re twenty-one.

“C’mon, Honey,” Papa said. “Let’s put the pannier on Junia and get you home to Loretta.”

“Papa, what should I say if the law comes after me?” I glanced out at the automobile and pulled my gloves on.

“Right now they only know we have a daughter, but they don’t know where you are, Honey, or what you look like. And they won’t find you where you’re going. Mr. Morgan shares the same office as our attorney, Mr. Faust. He’s signed up with the courts to represent you and is working on the legal papers to get you a guardian. You remember Bob Morgan, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Just don’t say anything except that you want to talk to Mr. Morgan if anyone asks. He’ll help you.”

I clung to Mama, afraid. That I could lose them both because men would punish my parents for loving each other was terrifying. And I knew somehow that going back to Troublesome was going to be troublesome for me.

“Mama.”

“My darling daughter, you’ll be safer there.” Mama wrapped me in a hug. A moment later, she said quietly, “When we went back to your grandparents’ cabin last fall to visit and clean the cemeteries, you’ll remember we stocked the root cellar with food.”

“Yes, ma’am, I remember.”

“Your papa took some more victuals over last month. Key’s in your pocket. Don’t lose it. And you be sure and share everything with Miss Loretta.” She gave one last hug, then kissed my cheek. “I’ll send word when it’s safe. If all goes well, you might be able to come home tomorrow at first light.” She drew back and gave me a small, reassuring smile. “I’ll come straight to you. I promise.”

But there was no promise to be had in her worried eyes, the darkening blue flesh of her face betraying the words. “Mama,” I said, chasing down the ghosts of childhood to return to a safer place—any place other than where they were going and where I was being sent. I searched their faces. “Mama, Papa, I love you.”

Mama laid her head against mine. “I love you, darling daughter.”

Papa pulled us into his embrace and spoke softly: “I love you. Ride safe, li’l Book Woman.” He drew back, kissed my forehead, then pulled us close once again. When he released his hold, he turned back toward the automobile. But not before I saw a small tear fall from the corner of his eye.

“Papa,” I whispered, my heart breaking, the ache deep, my love and the pain of losing them cutting even deeper.

“Be quick, Honey,” he said hoarsely, keeping his back to me. “You’ll return when we come for you, or when we send word it’s safe.” Once more he peeked out at the automobile, then snuck quietly over to Junia.

There was a sober finality in our brief goodbye, and we all felt it. Our future together was about to be erased, the same as in 1936 when the sheriff over in Troublesome erased my papa and mama’s marriage and then the courts banished him from entering Kentucky again for twenty-five years. What was coming loomed bigger, bolder, and the fear seized hold, punching hard at my bones.

I hugged him once more and climbed atop Junia, then rode her out on the narrower trail on the other side of the yard, away from the lawman and his automobile, the cold winds lashing at my stinging wet cheeks, the pounding of the beast’s hooves raging in my chest, stoking the anger and sorrow inside.

When I was at a safe distance but could still make them out, I climbed down. From behind a grove of trees, I stood beside Junia, peeking over her withers, waiting, and then watched as the lawman sauntered up to the cabin. In a minute my parents stepped out the door.

Mama stood helpless, clasping her hands while Papa talked to the official, their conversation lost to the wilderness. Several times, the lawman shook his head, his face darkening to a mottled red. With each shake it felt like a knife piercing, and I held my breath, watching until Junia swished her tail and a rumble threatened to leap from her chest.

“Shh,” I hissed. But it was too late. The ol’ girl pinned back her ears as the man took a step toward them. Mama cowed, raised an arm protectively over her face, and tried to back away. But the lawman latched hold and twisted her arm up behind her back, pinning her tight against the automobile. Mama tilted back her head and, with deep, guttural anguish, howled into Junia’s startled whinny, drowning the beast’s fury.

I didn’t need to hear the crushing snap to know he’d broken her arm.

Again, cries pulled from the mule’s chest, and I quickly put my hand on her muzzle. “Quiet, Junia,” I warned, not taking my eye off my parents.

Papa grabbed the lawman by the shoulders, pulling him off Mama, but the man spun around, whipped out his billy club, and struck Papa hard upside the head. He crashed to the ground on both knees, cradling his face with both palms. Shouts lifted as the lawman handcuffed him and knocked him over onto the cold ground. He gave a swift kick to Papa’s side and turned back to Mama.

Junia pawed the earth when she saw the man shove Mama into the back seat of his automobile.

Calling out for Papa, Mama banged on the window with her fist.

I wanted to scream and curse the man. Instead I clamped my hand over my mouth, watching in horror as tears streamed from my eyes.

Junia lifted her muzzle and bawled into the sleeping woods, and I ducked lower, barely peeking over her withers.

The lawman stopped and turned our way. My gaze dropped to my .22, then fell back on the man, and my breathing hitched as I shifted toward the scabbard.

He took a few steps forward and cupped a hand over his brows, searching. My gloved palm slid over the shoulder stock. Seconds later, he dropped his arm and turned away.

Quickly, I tugged Junia deeper into the trees, climbed atop, and rode the mule hard toward Troublesome Creek.

 

Two

With every mile, my courage dwindled and the doubts loomed larger. Finally, I stopped in the moss-blanketed forest to see if I was being followed, the swirls of fog ghosting up into the slices of morning light, our shadows growing longer on frosted pine-needled paths. My despair settled deep with each step, separating me from them. I placed a hand over my heaving chest, the panic like a tempest inside, escaping through cold breaths.

I rode another mile before Junia slowed down. Every few minutes the mule would look back yonder to home, to Mama. I couldn’t help but look back longingly, too, hoping they would return today, praying the court would release them.

“Ghee up, Junia. C’mon, ol girl, ghee up!” Junia poked along despite my pleas and loud urgings. Dropping my whole weight into the saddle, I kicked my heels against her sides.

She swung her head and sassed back with a spray of garbled brays.

A light dimmed in me; the despair and helplessness had set in. “I miss them, too, but at this rate we won’t be there till dark.” I slid off, stuffed my gloves into my pocket, and grabbed the reins, tugging the beast along. “We’ve only gone about six miles, but we have at least twenty-five more ahead,” I told her as we walked the forest paths, stepping carefully over and around logs, on the lookout for critters.

The sun finally broke through the fog, the push of an early spring calling out to the hills. We rested by a brook for an hour as I tried to take my mind off my parents by soaking it all up. Patches of tender green shoots, blossomed coughwort, and showy toadshade sprang up from the earth. Moss and rotted wood perfumed the air. Mama had insisted on teaching me about nature, made me pay close attention and treasure it all, most especially during the coming of spring. It was a necessity, a means of survival for all Kentucky folk, but especially for us Blues, she’d said.

I pulled out Mama’s pocket watch from underneath my coat. The silver timepiece twirled on a leather string, catching a glint of sunlight that escaped through the fogged, tree-forested crown. It had been her great-grandpa’s in France, and she’d passed it to me last July when I turned sixteen. I pushed down on the pumpkin crown and released the latch. The tiny, glass-bubbled case opened, the porcelain face showing it was 9:12 a.m. I snapped the timepiece shut and tried to ride Junia again.

Five hours later, I rode alongside Troublesome Creek, the steady clip-clops of Junia’s hooves murmuring as we crossed trickling creek waters and rode up into pine-treed mountains. We passed a woman and child walking the path. She toted a basket brimming with roots and other herbs. A moment later, a white turkey skittered across, its stream of loud gurgles trailing behind.

A man carrying a fishing pole called out a friendly greeting. “Honey Lovett, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the Book Woman and her daughter.”

“Sir, good day.” I nodded as we passed one of Mama’s old patrons.

In a few more minutes, Junia halted and brayed out warnings, then calmed. Tightening the reins, I looked between her tall ears and saw the ol’ moonshiner, Devil John, and his horse. I couldn’t make out the other person riding alongside him.

“Devil John, sir, it’s me, Honey,” I called out, relieved to see the family friend after all this time. I nudged Junia over to the moonshiner and a woman riding a fine horse, sneaking peeks at the stranger.

“Honey,” Devil John greeted me, tipping the black floppy hat with his calling card, a raccoon dick fastened to its front, his invitation to let folk know he was selling the shine—though it was known he didn’t partake of the spirits himself.

“Didn’t expect to see you or Cussy here till at least May. I was fixin’ to journey over to Thousandsticks to drop off some hardware supplies for your pa and visit your family in a few days.” He rubbed his long, gray beard, studying me.

We always looked forward to seeing Devil John. Several times during the year, me and Mama came back over to Troublesome to stay a couple of weeks during the fall and for almost two months in the summer. We would weed the Carter cemetery, visit her patrons, and then tend to the small grave site of my family, the Moffits. We’d spend a lot of time with Retta and some of Mama’s other folk who’d been on her book route while Papa busied himself traveling to Tennessee on timber business.

I never understood why we hadn’t moved out of the state—why Mama chose to stay in Kentucky. There’d been talk of moving to Tennessee or north to Ohio, but the notion got tamped down just as quick as it arose. Mama’d said she hoped to continue her important library work in Kentucky one day, and she couldn’t bear to let her family’s cabin go to rot and the Carter and Moffit cemetery go to seed. Troublesome was her home, her kin and ancestors’ home, she insisted. And like Papa had remarked from time to time, sometimes with a wistful sigh: This ol’ ’Tucky land sure makes a man yearn for it and want to flee it altogether. And you can sure ’nough have yourself one foot on foreign soil, but the other is always pointed home.

But today Kentucky had become our prison. And for the first time, I felt its shackles and choking ropes on me and my family. I looked away, thinking about my parents’ brutal beatings this morning, trying not to let the sorrow reach my eyes.

“Everything okay over in Thousandsticks?” Devil John looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Mama.

“Mama’s not with me today, sir.” I glanced over at the woman who was studying a map of sorts. “She sent me back to visit Retta, while she, uh, takes care of things back home.” My voice strained a bit and Devil John raised a brow. I couldn’t tell him family business in front of a stranger, even though he was close friends with my parents and we never hid anything from him.

He turned to the woman beside him. “Miss Grant, this is Honey Lovett, the daughter of our decorated book woman, Cussy Carter Lovett. Cussy worked for our Pack Horse Library Project here and delivered books to us.”

The woman looked up from the paper with sketching on it. “We had the same project over in Somerset, my hometown. Hi, call me Pearl, and I’m pleased to meet you, Honey.” She smiled easily and lifted a hand, jangling her silver bracelet full of charms. “I love a good book and I’m going to need a lot where I’m going.”

“Troublesome has itself a fine borrowing branch now,” I told her quietly, liking her already because she loved the books.

Pearl didn’t look much older than me, but her eyes said different. They were playful and spirited, yet held an edge of something troubling, maybe even a hint of sadness. I admired her hair, a stylish, short haircut full of soft curls like the Italian movie star I’d seen in some of the magazines Papa brought home from his Tennessee trips. Her riding britches had a lot more life to them than mine, and her tall, leather boots were stitched with fancy embroidery to match her gloves. I glanced down at Mama’s old hand-me-downs, the three-dollar, leather-bitten boots, and pressed them closer to Junia wishing her fur would swallow them. Still, the young woman seemed friendly.

“Pearl’s our new fire-tower watcher,” Devil John said. “She got lost back on the path when I happened upon her. Thought I’d show her to the lookout.”

Pearl shrugged sheepishly and held up a curling map. “Pie got us turned around about four miles back after we crossed the creek and my directions got wet.” She petted the handsome piebald’s spotted white and red neck, stroked his long strawberry mane.

Admiration and respect surged through me. It could be a dangerous job manning the fire tower, and all alone at that. I wanted to find out more about her.

“You say you’re headed to Miss Loretta’s?” Devil John asked.

“Yes, sir, on my way to Retta’s right now.”

“I still have to make a stop back in town. Since you’ll be passing the fire tower, would you mind showing Pearl the rest of the way?”

“Happy to take Pearl for you, sir.”

“Much obliged, Honey.” He turned to Pearl. “You’re in good hands. I’ll bring up that trunk you mentioned earlier, once it arrives in the morning.”

We journeyed through the woods while Pearl chatted about her job, distracting me from my thoughts of home.

“The ranger said I’ll have every Sunday off and at least one weekend off a month. Where do folks go for fun?” she asked.

“When R.C. was the lookout, he used to take his fiancée to the picture show over in the next town. There’s a train depot about four miles from the tower that’ll tote you there.”

“We have us a fine movie house in Somerset. It’s called the Virginia Cinema and I loved going. Last month, Mother took me to see Singin’ in the Rain with Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds. Oh, but it was grand!”

“I read about it in the newspaper. Mama promised to take me if it’s still playing.” I quieted and snapped the reins, urging Junia onward. I knew the chances of seeing the musical were slim now.

At the foot of Hogtail Mountain, I stopped and climbed off Junia, motioning for Pearl to do the same. “It’s narrow ahead. We’ll have to walk most of the way from here.”

“It doesn’t look much wider than a bicycle path.” Pearl laughed.

“Some spots are easier than others. Mama used to bring me up here all the time to see R.C. and Ruth. We were real tickled to learn about his promotion.”

“Last week, my uncle brought my horse over to R.C. so he could be here when I arrived. I met R.C. at the ranger station this morning when I picked up Pie and the maps. Met him and another ranger named Robbie Hardin.” She frowned at the mention of Hardin.

“Sure is something, you being appointed a female fire-tower lookout, and so young.” I stopped to study her a bit closer. Pearl must’ve sensed my curiosity.

“I just turned nineteen. Graduated high school last year and spent the summer working part time over at the Big Knob lookout in Pulaski County. As soon as my boss told me there was an opening here for full-time work, I applied. How about you?”

“I’m from here and I’ve always wanted to be a book woman like my mama.”

“You can’t be more than fifteen. You have plenty of time to get your librarianship.”

I looked away, thinking about the House of Reform and agonizing over whether to fib to this new acquaintance. It didn’t feel right, but neither did the whole day. “Eighteen,” I lied, worrying that I might have to keep lying to strangers if my parents never came back for me.

Pearl stared down at my coloring hands. “Are you okay?”

I realized I’d forgotten to put back on my gloves after checking my timepiece. “Fine, it’s nothing but a disorder that flares up once in a while. It’s been a long day already.” Quickly, I turned away and led Junia along the mountain path. “Watch your step,” I called back to remind Pearl, digging into my pocket for the gloves.

“What’s Somerset like? I’ve never been,” I asked while we walked.

“Small town. Nice enough. We live near Lake Cumberland and spend a lot of time boating and fishing on the lake.”

“Sounds nice. I’ve seen pictures in the local magazines, and it’s sure a pretty lake.”

“Yeah, but nothing like these beautiful knobs you have. I can’t wait to explore it all.”

“Spring is always special. I’m in town for a while and can show you around one day.” It wouldn’t be long till warmer winds were here. Soon the forest would cast aside its sleeping blanket and perfume the air with its riches. We traveled up the twisty, mud-packed paths, the scents of fresh earth rising with each step taken.

“Already graduate high school?” she inquired as we rounded another switchback.

“Never been.” I was glad she was behind me so I couldn’t see her face.

“Never? However did you manage that?” she asked with a big question in her voice.

“A lot of kids can’t attend. Some are taught at home and others just drop out or don’t go because they aren’t close enough, or don’t want to live at the Hindman Settlement or Caney Creek Schools. And a lot of folk don’t want their children taught by the fotched-on women either, yet others say they are some of the best teachers in the world. Mama said the fotched-on women make these ol’ hills a better place. But she insisted on teaching me from home and believes she gave me an education better than a lot of book-read folk.”

“What’s ‘fotched-on women’?”

“Well-to-do outsiders they fetched into our hills to teach in the settlement schools.”

Junia suddenly stopped, pinned back her ears, and brayed into the tree-soaked hills. A thin, piercing scream vibrated up, and I spied a startled bird limping toward the side of the path, dragging its wing.

“What is it?” Pearl leaned over my shoulder. “What the devil is wrong with that ailing creature?”

“That mama bird”—I poked a finger toward the thrashing critter shrilling on the grassy bank nearby—“ain’t ailing. The killdeer’s trying to draw us away from the nest she’s built on the path.”

Pearl whistled. “Just when I thought I’d seen it all in my last job. There’s so much I’ve yet to learn.”

“You will, and the critters will teach you something new each day.”

Together we peered up the rocky path and spotted an indention with three black-speckled eggs tucked inside.

Dropping Junia’s rein, I sprinted up to the nest and stepped around it. “C’mon, Junia, there’s room to pass.” I walked back to the mule and then up to the nest, sidestepping around it again. “Ghee up,” I ordered. But the ol’ girl weren’t having none of it. Instead she bellowed in singsong with the shrieking killdeer, causing so much racket I had to cover my ears.

Finally, I grabbed Pearl’s horse, leading it around Junia. The horse backed up, pawed at the hard earth, and I lost my footing, nearly falling off the mountain. Junia screamed out haws and snorted loudly, biting and nipping at the poor mount’s hide. The mule was determined to be in charge of this trip, and she wasn’t about to let Pearl’s horse take the lead.

“Pie, whoa, whoa,” Pearl ordered.

“Junia,” I cried out. “Whoa! Stop or you’re going to throw us off the mountain.” Junia took another nip of Pearl’s mount as we passed. Pie reared and bumped against me. Stumbling, I fell and busted my chin as he dragged me past Junia, leaving my face scuffed, lit afire by rock and clay, my legs dangling over the mountain. I gulped down scents of wet pine and rotted leaves, while I fought to scrape the air and lift myself to solid footing.

Again, Junia sent a thundering warning to the horse, the echoes lost to a still-sleeping forest.

“Honey, don’t move,” Pearl called out. She wedged past Junia, giving a firm tug to her halter. “Halt,” she scolded and lightly bopped the mule’s nose.

Junia snorted, then quieted.

Pearl rushed over to me. “Honey, let me get Junia so you can grab her lead.”

Sweat trickled from my brow, stinging my eyes. Again, I thrashed, struggled to find footing, digging my boots into the rocky mountainside, clawing at grass, rock, and debris, the smell of fear rising off my chest. Finally, I dared to peek over my shoulder and looked several thousand feet down into nothing but brush and craggy rock.

Quickly, I buried my face into the hard ground, my breaths coming fast and short. Junia ambled over, sniffed my hair, and I let go of one hand and blindly groped for her rein. Slipping down a little farther, I scratched the earth and rock with my boots and felt one loosen, a scream collapsing in my chest. The mule nudged my back, and I latched onto her rein, holding on for dear life.

“Back, back,” Pearl said gently to the mule.

Junia moved slow.

Pearl grabbed my other arm, and together she and the mule slowly dragged me back onto the path. I crooked my neck and looked back, twisting my legs. Then one of my boots fell off and went tumbling over the steep, rugged cliff, bouncing off razor-sharp rocks and prickly limbs, until it was swallowed up by the mountain.

I panted, looking up at Pearl from the ground, a little embarrassed, wanting to cry but trying desperately to be brave in front of the courageous woman.

“Obliged, Pearl.” I grabbed her outstretched hand. “If you weren’t here, I would’ve been falling till next season.” Standing somewhat shaky, I touched my hurting chin and sighed as I brushed the dirt off my coat and britches. One button was missing from Mama’s coat. I looked around the mud-leaf path and found the old leather button and slipped it into my pocket. “Junia, we’re going to have to find my boot before we go home.”

Junia snorted and moseyed past the nest and a screaming mama killdeer.

Pearl chuckled. “Does she always win?”

“It’s wise to let her,” I said. Then we both fell into fits of laughter, my worries masked behind a flood of snorts, giggles, and guffaws, the tearful laughter hiding the sorrows of the morning.

After a bit, Pearl said, “Are you sure you’re okay? I can go on from here and let you get home to clean up and rest.”

I gulped down the last of my hilarity, wiping my eyes. It felt good to finally have a taste of laughter and even better to share it with someone.

“Go on, Honey, I bet you’re tired. I can manage.”

Between the horrors of this morning and the long ride to Troublesome, rest was just what I needed, and for a moment, I was tempted to accept.

Junia sidled up to me, sniffed my face, then laid her big head over my shoulder, keeping a mistrustful eye on Pearl and her mount. “I’ll be fine as long as Junia behaves.”

Pearl admired her a moment while I stripped off the other boot and stuffed it inside my pannier. “Junia, huh?” She scratched the mule’s floppy ear. “Wherever did she get the name, Honey?”

“It’s Biblical. Mama said it’s just a word or two, but from a part of the Bible that says maybe there was a female apostle.” I stroked Junia’s gray muzzle. “C’mon, apostle girl, let’s get to the tower and then go find my other boot.”

Pearl reached around in her bags and after a moment dug out a pair of red velvet house slippers. “Here, you can wear these until you find your boot.”

“I can’t. They’d get ruined.”

“I have another pair and won’t be needing them. Mother insisted on trying to pack two of everything.” She laughed, her eyes bright and cheery.

Grateful, I wrestled the slippers on over my thick socks. Snug, but at least they would keep my feet warm.

Testing, I took a few steps and frowned, feeling the mud sucking at the fine slippers. I dared to look down.

Pearl soothed a skittish Pie, pretending not to notice.

We took several more switchbacks leading up to the lookout with me leading the way, hugging the cragged rock face, Junia slow-poking behind me and Pearl, and Pie bringing up the rear.

Every few feet, Junia would stop and gaze out into the distance as if searching for Mama. My eyes would follow, too, hoping it was all a mistake and that Mama would come riding over the next ridge to take us home.

At the top, Pearl gasped. “Home, finally!” She spotted the large shed for her horse and the outhouse beside it, pointing, soaking it all up. Hay and horse feed had been toted up and were stacked under a partially covered lean-to.

Pearl looked out at the forest, inhaling the fresh air. White skies crowned the brown tops of the forest below. Faraway, I could see a curtain of mist slumbering over the darkened hills, heading our way. It looked like snow, and I inhaled, tasting the breaths of its crisp promise. Nearby, a crow cried out into a distant bird’s chattering, and below, a forest critter’s thin wailing carried into the breeze.

“Eight landings and one-hundred-thirty-three steps to the trapdoor,” I told Pearl as we tied our mounts at the bottom. “Used to be only eighty-four steps, but they had a fire in the cab that destroyed it. They decided to rebuild and raise the cab higher.”

Pearl cupped her hand over her eyes and stared up at her new wooden home atop the winding steel stairs with its metal catwalk encircling it. “It’s perfect,” she said.

I couldn’t help but wonder why a woman would want to take on the dangerous job, much less want to live here alone.

As if hearing my thoughts, she said, “I was born to do this job. To be able to live as close as you can get to your Maker, in His mighty nature. Ever heard of Hallie Daggett, Honey?”

I shook my head.

“I read about her work years ago. She became the first female fire lookout of the Forest Service in 1913. Spent fifteen years on the job working at the Eddy Gulch fire tower in the Klamath National Forest. That’s way up at the top of California. And I want to be just like her, only spend my next thirty being a lookout.” She laughed.

“That’s something.” I stared at her a moment, even more impressed that she knew what she wanted for herself and was determined to get it.

“Seven men put in for this appointment, but R.C. said I was capable as any of them because I had manned the fire tower back home. Also, I passed the eyesight test with flying colors. Two of the men had poor eyesight and only one had the formal classroom training for becoming a fire lookout like I’d had. R.C. said none of the applicants had formally studied topography like me. The Forestry made me spend an eight-hour grueling day hiking the forest, and another hour running up and down the fire-tower steps with the men. There were only three of us left.”

I was flabbergasted that she had won the appointment over so many men and overwhelmed with admiration. Somehow, I felt close to her, and a kinship I’d never known before took hold. If Pearl could do all that, maybe I could survive on my own too.

“The men didn’t like it much and grumbled to the bosses,” she said. “Some said it wasn’t fair for a female to steal a man’s rightful paycheck. But some of those old boys didn’t know how to even locate a fire, much less tell the difference between a sleeping one or sheep dust or a fog puff.” Pearl laughed.

“I’m glad you got it,” I said, meaning it.

She sighed happily. “Home.”

“C’mon, I’ll help you carry the bags up before I head out to Retta’s place.”

“Thanks. Is Retta family?”

I couldn’t tell this brave girl that she was my babysitter. Instead, I said, “Loretta Adams is a close friend of my family.”

Pearl dug into her pocket and pulled out two small keys on a chain and jangled them, smiling. “R.C. gave me the padlock keys this morning. I can’t wait to see my cab! I’d like to have you over once I settle in.”

“I’d like that,” I said, needing a friend more than ever. And with one as smart as her, I could learn a lot by being her friend.

I took one of her panniers and we trudged up the old metal steps, the tower slightly swaying, the stairs rumbling protests as we climbed toward the top. We stopped a moment and Pearl searched the mountain-layered horizon. I pointed out the snow curtain, sheets of white heading toward Troublesome.

When we reached the last landing where the metal platform under the cab led up to the trapdoor, Pearl whisked out a cry.

I peered over her shoulder. Someone had taken a hacksaw to four of the metal steps and cut them off, making it impossible to reach the trapdoor that led up inside the cab.

She cried out once more and pointed to the trapdoor and the half-broke padlock on the outside latch.

I stared at the ugly words scrawled across the door in red paint. PUT BACK ON YOUR APRON & GO BACK TO YOUR KITCHEN—BITCH

I gasped and uttered a curse, an anger rising for the horrible man who did this.

Pearl grimaced and put a clenched fist to her hip. “I bet it was Robbie Hardin. At the station this morning, he tried to coax R.C. into betting how long I’d stay. Wondering aloud how fast I’d hightail it down the mountain and back over to my cozy kitchen in Somerset when the first storm came in, or when I faced my first wild creature.”

“The Hardins always had a mean streak in them,” I said, remembering the whispered talks between my folks about how Mama’s librarian supervisor, Harriett Hardin, had been responsible for getting my papa jailed and then banished from Kentucky.

“Well, I’m not going back to any kitchen,” she spat out. “I’m here to stay. Stay.”

I put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Stay, dammit!” She raised the words to the forest, pounding a fist atop the steel railing, sending out her battle cry, and in it, I heard the screams of my mama, felt the pain she and Papa had suffered earlier.

And then whether it was because she was overwhelmed or exhausted from the trip, or maybe both, she cried and howled her curses to the heavens.

I stared down at my mud-soaked slippered feet, wringing my hands, wanting to help and be a friend to her, needing to curse and wail my own sufferings. Finally, I said shyly, “If you want, Pearl, you can stay at my grandparents’ cabin until the ranger station can weld back new steps. There’s plenty of room and I can help settle you in. Retta won’t mind me coming tomorrow. It’ll be fine,” I said, though I knew from my folk, nothing was ever completely fine in Troublesome.

“That’s real neighborly, Honey, and unless there’s a motel, I’ll have to take you up on it.” She swiped a palm across her damp eyes.

“No motel here unless you want to rent a room above the Company store… That’s if there’s any vacant.”

“Thank you, your family’s cabin will do just fine.”

Below, Junia called out a low haw. I peered over the railing, studying the beast. She lifted her muzzle and gave three short bursts. Her ears were parked stiff, not relaxed, her stance shifting and worrisome.

Mama taught me long ago: Look at the beast, the bird, the wild dog, the critters, and listen closely because God spent all their might on the ears so they would have protection. And that safeguard is what ensures ours.

I searched the forest below, looking for any movement or sign of something amiss. I couldn’t help feel that someone was watching back. Again, Junia raised warnings, and I glimpsed how her always-distrustful eyes were now watchful for our protection.

Glancing up at the trapdoor, I knotted a fist, disgusted with the cowardly welcome Pearl had received from the men. Again, Mama’s piercing screams echoed in my head, and I felt an angry tear slip down my jaw and vowed somehow to fight like this brave fire lookout.

“Let’s go, Pearl. I still need to find my boot, and it’s coming on bad weather and dark soon.”

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