Reading ORCHARD GROVE requires some suspension of disbelief, but that’s okay. I mean, what fiction doesn’t at some point? Author Vincent Zandri doesn’t get probability in the way of his extremely well-told story, and while you may be inclined to go “hmmm…” a number of times while reading, it’s doubtful you’ll find a more entertaining ride. The book put me in the mind of one of those paperback noir novels from the 1950s, the ones on the revolving wire racks that would be there one week and gone the next. ORCHARD GROVE, though, is a keeper.

Ethan Forrester narrates most of the novel, which takes its title from the name of the Albany, New York subdivision where Ethan and his wife, Susan, reside. Ethan is a screenwriter with some fairly notable film credits to his name, but the hits haven’t kept on coming, so to speak. His fall from grace personally and professionally has followed a downward trajectory from Hollywood to Albany. In Albany, Ethan and Susan are struggling to pay the monthly mortgage, dependent upon Susan’s salary as a teacher and the sale of the marijuana they have growing in the backyard. Meanwhile, Ethan listens for the whisper of the Muse that no longer speaks to him. Sound bad? It’s actually worse.

"ORCHARD GROVE is wild. It has elements of DOUBLE INDEMNITY and Body Heat, and things you’ve never encountered before. You won’t read it without hesitating to get to know the next-door neighbors just a little too well."

Ethan is hobbled by a serious foot injury that he sustained about a year ago, and is still on crutches for the course of his post-surgical convalescence. It slows him down and limits him considerably, though not totally. Ethan is distracted by his next-door neighbor, an attractive woman named Lana Cattivo, who has extremely interesting sunbathing habits. Lana, as the reader learns early on, has some very deep and longstanding ties to the Orchard Grove area. Ethan and Lana eventually make acquaintances, with one thing leading to another. Interestingly enough, it appears that Ethan isn’t the only member of the Forrester family who has felt the tug of attraction toward Lana.

One thing leads to many, many others, including the introduction of Lana’s husband, John, who is a detective with the Albany Police Department, and his partner, Carl Pressman, who isn’t immune to Lana’s charms, either. Let it be said that John has more loose screws than Home Depot, and the first night that the Forresters and Cattivos get together for dinner is a doozy. Things get worse from there, as Lana presents Ethan with an idea that will leave her free of John and free for Ethan --- and Susan --- to live happily ever after. Right.

That’s the setup for ORCHARD GROVE, and if you like sex with your violence, you’re going to love this book. Zandri spends approximately the first half of the novel setting up what I have related so far, and then sends the whole thing rolling posterior over tea kettle down a long flight of stairs. You might be forgiven if you think “Bad Ethan” for the first half and “Poor Ethan” for the second. And, as mentioned earlier, parts of the book require a bit (well, maybe more than a bit) of suspension of disbelief. The occasional plot twist notwithstanding, Zandri is a heck of a storyteller. You won’t want to stop reading just to see what happens next, and what doesn’t. Oh, and if you’re ever inclined to go all rock star in a motel room, the book contains a lesson in how to do just that. But please don’t try it.

ORCHARD GROVE is wild. It has elements of DOUBLE INDEMNITY and Body Heat, and things you’ve never encountered before. You won’t read it without hesitating to get to know the next-door neighbors just a little too well. You’ll also want to pick up Zandri’s backlist to see what additional madness lies within his imagination.