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Marriable: Taking the Desperate out of Dating

Review

Marriable: Taking the Desperate out of Dating

When now-married couple Hayley and Michael DiMarco met on an Internet dating site, they had a combined total of over 40 years of dating history behind them. Michael is a self-confessed "lemon" who was once divorced, had several live-in girlfriends, and after over two decades of desperate dating experience realized his need for a closer introspective look at what his actions (misdeeds) said he was. After committing himself to overhauling his relationships and his view of marriage the way God intended, Michael's dating life changed dramatically.

Hayley, whose past included some missteps as well, teamed up with Michael to write this witty, pithy, humor-laced guide to playing the "game" of dating for the purpose of equipping Christian men and women with the "pieces" they need to win the ultimate prize: marriage. Their premise is that the dating ritual is truly a game, and both players (meant in the most positive sense of the word) have to understand the subtle "dos" and "don'ts" --- otherwise, everyone loses. The authors present their material with a warning not to denigrate the dating game into calculated encounters entirely devoid of emotion, but rather to temper these romantic "moves" with "logic, faith, and trust."

Ground rules for dating begin with understanding the basic differences between men's and women's approach to this dance. Men chase, women are pursued. Men provide, women nurture. Men communicate differently, while women desire different things from the relationship. And then, the DiMarcos offer their finest line: "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you've got." Point taken.

Both sexes will find chapters specific to their gender and others pertinent to men and women alike. (In truth, males and females will glean some tidbits of insight by taking a look-see into the inner workings of the opposite sex's psyche and studying every chapter.) The DiMarcos are nothing if not thorough in their offering of topics, which include the desperate lies women tell themselves; how men will lie to get what they want; discerning when someone is out of your league; casting off non-legit reasons for not dating; how being friends is a waste of time for both people; male porn and its dangers; unveiling the ugly female porn; why marrying a best friend is a no-no; what it looks like to be a real man; how women can increase their mystery quota by being quiet; why nice guys are always a step behind the pack; and the savvy, safe rules for online dating.

Each chapter is filled with user-friendly advice and chock-full of eye-catching sidebars where both authors chime in on topics they're passionate about in a "he said/she said" format. Loaded with humor --- some biting, some kindly --- readers will laugh one moment and then pause for thought in the next. In every case, men and women alike will close the final page with a greater understanding of navigating the potentially treacherous waters of dating and be more fully prepared to play to their strengths while playing to win.

Reviewed by Michele Howe on September 1, 2005

Marriable: Taking the Desperate out of Dating
by Hayley DiMarco and Michael DiMarco

  • Publication Date: September 1, 2005
  • Genres: Christian, Relationships
  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Revell
  • ISBN-10: 0800730836
  • ISBN-13: 9780800730833