“It’s been a lifetime of high notes and low notes, baby. And I want you to know, with more days behind me than ahead, it’s been a life very well lived. I have no regrets. None. The only thing I’m truly sorry about is the pain of anyone I’ve ever hurt. However accidentally, or thoughtlessly. To all of you, I am truly sorry.

“These are my innermost thoughts and feelings as I begin this memoir. So fasten your seatbelts and hang onto your hair --- it’s been one helluva ride. Today, whenever I look back at that night as a nineteen-year-old Tony winner, the same question runs through my mind as it did then: How in God’s name did I get here?”

KIDS, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS! opens with these sentiments from one of the greatest performers of all time, who came from one of the most productive and influential families in the arts. Liza Minnelli, the daughter of famed director Vincente Minnelli and the even more infamous icon Judy Garland, has waited 80 years (well, she just turned 80) to give readers this very significant, no-holds-barred look at every love, every show, every husband, every drink, every surgery she has ever had. She lets us turn each corner with her so that we feel as close to the action as possible.

"KIDS, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS! is unputdownable.... It is exactly the singular tour-de-force that only Liza Minnelli could create. I dare you not to read it in one sitting. Bravo, Liza, on another hit!"

Liza is both the ultimate nepo baby and the best kind of nepo baby. She has gratitude for her parents’ substantial artistic gifts and knows that she took those inherent qualities and turned them into something totally new and totally hers. Liza with a Z!

Growing up, my family and I watched The Wizard of Oz once a year (usually around Easter time). The movie thrilled us all and scared my little sister a lot. Every year, we were able to see the start of Judy Garland’s illustrious and tumultuous career in our living room. Even as kids, we knew she was what they called a real Hollywood star. But Liza Minnelli, whom we also came to know through movies and Broadway shows, was a new breed of Hollywood star, mixing old moxie and hard work with newfound hippie coolness and disco fever.

Liza became Judy’s guardian starting at the age of 12, weathering the ups and downs of her mother’s substance abuse issues and their money woes. She performed with her early on and learned so much about acting from her and an extensive collection of friendly uncles and aunts: Uncle Ira Gershwin, Uncle Frank Sinatra, Aunt Lucille Ball, and Aunt Kay Thompson (who modeled her irascible Eloise character on Liza as a child).

There are so many names in this book that, if you are under 50, you will have to Google a lot of these folks to see how famous they were in their time. Some, like Frank Sinatra, Mia Farrow, Martin Scorsese, and Liza’s confidante, Michael Feinstein, will be familiar to musical theater kids and film buffs. Others, like some of her lovers (Peter Sellers, Charles Aznavour, Desi Arnaz Jr.) or co-stars (Dudley Moore, Ben Vereen), may not be as well-known to younger generations. Liza’s career and her social life hike through all the major entertainment industries (she was one of the first women to become an EGOT, winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony --- and several times over at that).

Liza and her “Papa” truly understood each other; their love was unconditional and not transactional. Her relationship with Judy was more dramatic, and it is remarkable to think of all that Liza went through with her before the age of 15. Once Liza announced that she wanted to be a performer, Judy wafted between teacher and competitor, which taught her a lot about how to get along in show business. It is both a moving tribute to Judy and a cautionary tale, one that Liza didn’t take to heart until much later in life.

Liza’s marriages and love affairs get a lot of coverage, but her relationships with Kander and Ebb (the team who brought Cabaret and Chicago to the annals of great theater), Michael Feinstein, Marvin Hamlisch, Elizabeth Taylor and the night denizens of New York City in the disco era are also heavily featured. I need to download the audiobook, which Liza narrated. How could you not want to sit at her feet as she holds court on her incredible life?

KIDS, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS! is unputdownable. Every page holds some gem of a story about Liza and her philosophy on love, work and friendship, as well as the dreams and desires of one of the most versatile stars around. It is exactly the singular tour-de-force that only Liza Minnelli could create. I dare you not to read it in one sitting. Bravo, Liza, on another hit!