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I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places


I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places

I’VE GOT SAND IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES is the seventh book by the dynamic mother and daughter writing team of Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella. Is it heredity that both women have a very active funny bone, a no-holds-barred perspective on reality, and the ability to connect with their readers? Whatever the reason --- heredity, environment or something else --- the result is another book that will have you shaking your head, snickering as you turn the pages, and wishing it wouldn’t end so soon.

Lisa has just turned 60, and Francesca is 29. Lisa lives with five dogs and a cat. She keeps chickens as pets and also has a pony. Francesca shares her Manhattan apartment with a dog whom she refers to as her baby and a cat who intimidates the dog. Lisa is twice divorced, while Francesca is single. 

"This is the fifth book by Lisa and Francesca that I have been fortunate enough to review. It is a delight to read their work and a pleasure to encourage others to do the same."

Francesca's frame of reference is that of a single woman living alone in the Big Apple. She is working on her first novel. She writes about the pleasures and perils of living in a big city, being a wingman for her gay friend, and the realities of dating. Lisa is busy churning out popular mysteries, enjoying being an empty nester, and being able to work from the comfort of her own home where every day is casual Friday and bras are always optional.

Lisa is an avid fan of “The Bachelor” and makes no apologies or excuses about her love of the popular reality show. She doesn't consider viewing it a guilty pleasure --- in fact, she feels guilty if she misses an episode. She recently discovered the comfort and warmth of fleece clothing, and cold weather finds her covered in fleece from head to toe. As much as she loves the book tours she and Francesca take to various beach communities to promote their books, the very thought of driving across bridges to get to these destinations has her shaking in her shoes. Driving over a bridge is a traumatic ordeal if she is behind the wheel and even more frightening when her daughter is driving.

Lisa becomes quite ill at Christmas time after consuming a leftover bottle of water in her car. The bottle contained…a dead mouse! How the thirsty rodent got into her vehicle in the first place is a mystery that even this savvy author of many mysteries and thrillers cannot figure out.

Francesca is the "older woman" when she finds herself dating the most handsome man she has ever met. He is only three years younger, but his interest in nightlife and his taste in music reveal what a difference three years can really make. She breaks it off realizing that there are more important things than physical attraction.

Francesca's doorman calls her Princess. He evaluates her dates and critiques her wardrobe, and worries about her when she looks tired. He has opinions on everything, and he voices them. While this can seem annoying at times, Francesca realizes that he has her back; for that she is grateful.

Late one night, only two blocks from her apartment building, Francesca is beaten and robbed. She rides in an ambulance to the ER where she is taken care of promptly and kindly. The two policemen drive her home in the squad car --- she gets to ride shotgun --- and they even accompany her as she takes her dog out for a walk. Though shaken by the experience, she is determined not to label herself "a victim," and the reader is impressed by her grit and courage.

This is the fifth book by Lisa and Francesca that I have been fortunate enough to review. It is a delight to read their work and a pleasure to encourage others to do the same.

Reviewed by Carole Turner on July 15, 2016

I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places
by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella

  • Publication Date: June 13, 2017
  • Genres: Essays, Humor, Nonfiction
  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
  • ISBN-10: 1250059984
  • ISBN-13: 9781250059987