Lisa Whelchel grew up in Hollywood, most notably as the character Blair on the ’80s sitcom “The Facts of Life.” She is now one of the featured speakers on the Women of Faith conference circuit. Those roles put Whelchel in a separate category from most of us, and yet her story builds a bridge to ordinary Christian women who have felt they needed to conceal their imperfections and always be all together.

When her children were young, looking for friends, Whelchel started a moms’ group that gave women an opportunity to gather to…play board games. The gathering provided adult company and laughter, but did little to make Whelchel feel less alone --- and she admits that women later told her they felt as if they didn’t know her very well. “I was adept at appearing transparent without being vulnerable… It has always been easier for me to share my heart from a stage” or in a book or blog “than it is to open up in a one-on-one conversation.”

Whelchel walks you through her journey, from the Spirit nudging her away from gossiping, to a growing  desire to open up to a friend who will accept her frailties and walk with her, to feeling she had become too dependent on a newfound friend, to disappointment and perceived betrayal, to a counselor’s office. She is eventually drawn into the Women of Faith speakers’ “porch,” learning more lessons of determining who to trust and the best way to work through inevitable misunderstandings and conflict. Well, you can see it’s a long journey told in a compact book.

FRIENDSHIP FOR GROWN-UPS is very focused on the singular issue of friendships with women. Whelchel hardly mentions her husband, seemingly because marriage or friendship with one’s husband is outside the purview of the book. One chapter anecdotally discusses the hazards of confiding in men (other than your spouse).

Whelchel has written a personal narrative, not a how-to book. Having said that, 40 pages of back matter feature practical pointers, including chapter-by-chapter discussion questions; chapter-by-chapter bulleted “steps for developing and growing friendships”; and a comprehensive and valuable list of more than 100 “conversation prompts” that get people talking about themselves. Some of the questions are personal and thought-provoking, while others are lighthearted: “What’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book?” (presumably to be followed by a “why?” or “what’s so great about it?”).

It seems that for years Whelchel was good at prompting conversations, but pulling back when it became her turn to answer the questions. By the end of the book, however, she’s willing to draw herself inside the circle of friends, and readers have learned how to participate in an array of “grown-up” relationships. Whelchel passes along a lifelong lesson: “Being good is no longer more important than being connected --- with God, myself, and with others.”