I am a big Gretchen Rubin fan. Last winter, I discovered her bestseller, HAPPIER AT HOME, a follow-up to THE HAPPINESS PROJECT. I wasn’t sure what to expect based on the subtitle, “Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon Self-Control, and My Other Experiments in Everyday Life,” but what I didn’t bargain for was a book that had so many great takeaways and simple ideas for how to just, well, be happier at home! I really got a lot out of it and feature it regularly on my staff picks shelf at the bookstore where I work, and have also featured it in a book talk called “Five Books You Should Be Reading Right Now.”

Rubin is one of those authors who can take the seemingly mundane (think Malcolm Gladwell) and put in hours of research and intense thought into her subject to turn it into a highly readable book. In Rubin’s case, her books set out to help other people, maybe in just one or two little ways, change their lives for the better. I mean, really, habits? Who wants to read about how to start or stop habits? If you’ve learned to live with always being late to work, maybe you can easily say to yourself, “Hey! This is just how I am!” Chances are, though, that other people, including your boss and co-workers, can’t brush off your tardiness with such aplomb. So what do you do?

Rubin starts out by identifying the Four Tendencies, figuring out that self-knowledge is the first step to understanding personal habits. She gives succinct descriptions for the four categories people fall into:

• Upholder --- meets both outer and inner expectations
• Questioner --- resists outer expectations, meets inner expectations
• Obliger --- meets outer expectations, resists inner expectations
• Rebel --- resists both outer and inner expectations

I carefully read all four summaries and then found out I was an Obliger, who “may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, and Obligers do things more easily for others than themselves.” For a little while, I thought I was a Questioner, who “questions all expectations and responds to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense,” but after some reevaluation decided that Obliger fit best. I am definitely NOT an Upholder, like Rubin herself, or a Rebel (although I think my son is).

"I always walk away from a Gretchen Rubin book with much to think about, and my experience with BETTER THAN BEFORE is no different. I’ll keep it nearby for some time, referring to it as I try to employ her ideas and methods so that I, too, can become…better. Than before."

The next two sections deal with the Pillars of Habits, which Rubin has identified as Monitoring (think food diaries), Foundation (starting with a firm base), Scheduling (self-explanatory) and Accountability (Someone’s Watching); and the Best Time to Begin --- whether by taking that first little step towards better health by walking around the block one time; starting with a clean slate on a better diet by throwing out all the processed food in your pantry; or the “lightning bolt,” where a habit just suddenly makes so much sense you can’t ignore it.

Not surprisingly, the biggest section in the book is called “Desire, Ease and Excuses.” Rubin first outlines strategies that can “shape our habits by adjusting the amount of effort involved.” These strategies are:

• Abstaining: Do you have trouble sticking to one or two glasses of wine? Maybe it is easier for you to just completely eliminate it from your life!
• Convenience: Rubin tended to overindulge in her daily almond habit, so she bought a Costco-sized bag of individual portions of her favorite snack.
• Inconvenience: If overspending on credit cards is an issue, don’t carry them in your wallet! Leave them at home.

My favorite part comes next: loophole spotting! I am trying to memorize these so I can easily identify them when I am employing one of these habit derailment methods. I recognized ALL of them and feel sure most readers will as well.

• Moral Licensing Loophole: How much easier will it be to stop making an excuse if I know that it is a moral licensing loophole? “After all the work I’ve done today, I’ve earned a nice glass of wine.”
• Tomorrow Loophole: Who doesn’t know this one? I’m having pizza with all the toppings and a glass of beer because my diet starts, you guessed it, tomorrow!
• False Choice Loophole: I love this one. “I haven’t been exercising. Too busy writing.” One of her blog readers nailed my biggest problem on the head, saying, “I make to-do lists with some items that are easy and fun and some that are way too ambitious, then I do the easy, fun things but don’t have time for the hard things.”
• Lack of Control Loophole: “I’d had a couple of beers.” This is directly related to the…
• Arranging to Fail Loophole: Ever been on vacation and thought, “I don’t have to maintain my meditation practice, I’m on vacation!” Rubin identifies this one as the “This Doesn’t Count” loophole.

A few others are outlined as well, but I guarantee there will be more than one that most people recognize as either having employed or maybe employ more often than others. I’m hoping personally that by now knowing more about these loopholes, I’ll be less apt to put them into play when trying to justify breaking, or at least easing up on, a habit.

Lastly, “Unique, Just Like Everyone Else” is a section to help us understand ourselves better, in relation to other people. Utilizing the concepts of clarity, identity and how others affect our behavior, Rubin offers the last keys to unlocking a better path to creating and maintaining good habits, and terminating the bad.

If you are a Gretchen Rubin fan, or become one after reading this book, be sure to subscribe to her daily “Moment of Happiness” email. It’s just a short quote that arrives in your inbox every morning. I’m sure everybody finds different ones more applicable to their life than others, but I myself have had some that have spoken to me so loudly, it is as if she selected it just for me. She is also very active on Facebook and Twitter, and has a great podcast with her sister, Elizabeth Craft, who pops up regularly in her books.

I always walk away from a Gretchen Rubin book with much to think about, and my experience with BETTER THAN BEFORE is no different. I’ll keep it nearby for some time, referring to it as I try to employ her ideas and methods so that I, too, can become…better. Than before.