Adoption. Gay Marriage. The endless iterations of love in our time. All of these hot topics are brewed together by Judith Frank in her latest novel, ALL I LOVE AND KNOW.

Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a lovely suburban home life together in Northampton, Massachusetts. There are few incidents that mar their happiness until the day they get the horrible news that Daniel’s twin brother and sister-in-law have been killed in a bombing in Jerusalem. At that moment, their perfect pod of tranquility is put to the test.

Taking a hit from the Hollywood playbook, ALL I LOVE AND KNOW gives the partners a new challenge to confront: Who is going to adopt the children left behind from the deceased’s marriage --- six-year-old Gal and baby Noam? Matthew’s family was never very supportive of his lifestyle. Is this the time to try to engage their help in what could be a life-altering responsibility? Daniel has so many questions about his identity as a Jewish man, which affects his life as a gay man in contemporary U.S. But this is no Kate Hudson tearjerker --- the men deal with the opportunity with which they are confronted by casting themselves into a cornucopia of emotional realities.

"ALL I LOVE AND KNOW is an emotional summer read, and its searching and searing drama will affect you well beyond these halcyon days of leisure."

The very fabric of their relationship is called into question. Do they have the right kind of commitment to stick together no matter what? Add to that the insecurity of becoming parents by demand instead of by desire. What are the limits to honesty or commitment, and love and honor? This is a big American story, a tapping into the zeitgeist that few other novelists have really traveled --- taking the life of gay American couples beyond the struggle for marriage equality and giving a look at the usual challenges of any relationship, which, in this case, is complicated because of the nature of their partnership.

ALL I LOVE AND KNOW looks at these characters in emotional depth while they go about their everyday lives. “Now he looked at Matt, who was sitting cross-legged on the playroom floor and taking apart the foam puzzle alphabet floor. He thought about how irritated Matt was that people who hadn’t given him the time of day before suddenly fell all over him in camaraderie once he had kids. Yes, he got why Matt was irritated, but it wasn’t entirely sinister, was it? Wasn’t having and raising children simply part of the common human enterprise?” In passages like this, one partner just watching the other in their new but very typical stance as parents, the entire trajectory of gay parents is framed in a whole new way. They are just like everybody else.

Judith Frank accomplishes what a number of better known gay writers have not been able to do --- construct for the world at large a portrait of a typical American couple, who just happen to be of the same sex. For those who have issues with gay marriage, this book could serve as a testament and guidebook to what the rest of us already know but have seen little in literature --- gay people are just like the rest of us, especially as parents. All the insecurities, fears and desires to love and care for others in the best way we know how are examined here.  

I believe in the power of literature to change the way we look at our world, and Frank, like John Irving or Wally Lamb, has given American fiction a chance to go beyond the rhetoric and political trauma that this subject evokes and see the real human experience of flesh-and-blood people when confronted with the most difficult job in the world. Being a parent calls into question everything a good parent can endeavor to understand --- how their upbringing and lifestyle become a path for the smaller humans to follow. Is your history, your future, a good path for your kids? Matthew and Daniel have to rediscover themselves while discovering their new family; like caring parents everywhere, it is never easy.

ALL I LOVE AND KNOW is an emotional summer read, and its searching and searing drama will affect you well beyond these halcyon days of leisure. The challenges of this relationship will come back to you when you are struggling with your everyday life as a parent…or thinking about being one.