Near the end of Sari Wilson’s debut novel, GIRL THROUGH GLASS, Kate Rendell asks herself: “Can I stop sabotaging my own ambitions?” That question is as relevant for Kate now, in her 40s, as it was when she was a teenager, known then as Mira.

At the age of 11, Mira’s ambitions jolted into high gear around the time her father moved out of their ancient brownstone in Brooklyn. Mira, left behind with her mother and her nonstop string of “boyfriends,” threw herself with increasing fervor into her study of classical ballet. After a crisis at home finds Mira’s mother moving to San Francisco and Mira moving in with her father and his new girlfriend, Mira becomes only more dedicated, eventually auditioning for a coveted spot at the School of American Ballet (SAB), the feeder school for the New York City ballet.

"Even if a forty-something woman is too old to resurrect a professional dance career, she might not be too old to be seen in other ways, to be valued for her strength and for a different kind of truth."

It was the late 1970s, and America was crazy for ballet, especially for the charismatic George Balanchine (“Mr. B.”) and his coven of ethereally beautiful “pinheads.” Dancers like Nureyev and Baryshnikov were defecting to the U.S. from the Soviet Union, and Americans were captivated by their stories, too. Mira arrived into this rarefied world with talent and determination, and a sense of fulfilling her own destiny, a feeling stoked by her enigmatic older “friend” Maurice, a balletomane who decided to take Mira under his wing, serving as her mentor and consistently reminding her of her beauty and the endless power of her increasingly strong body.

But along the way, something went horribly wrong with Maurice --- something that eventually derailed Mira’s promising young career and put an end to the trajectory that everyone agreed was going to land her a spot in the company. Decades later, Mira (now known as Kate) takes a leave of absence from her adjunct position teaching dance history at a college in Ohio. She’s been sabotaging her own ambitions again, making a poor personal choice that may have cost her her slim chance at a fellowship. And, out of the blue, she receives a letter from Maurice, who she hasn’t spoken to in years. Haunted by memories, she returns to New York, to a city that’s been as transformed since her youth as she herself has been.

Kate’s revelations and self-discoveries now alternate with an account of Mira’s rapid rise through the ballet ranks then. Wilson includes some of the standard tropes we’ve all come to expect from ballet novels --- eating disorders, drug use, other forms of self-abuse and toxic competition. But these elements are secondary to the real story, which is about Mira’s pursuit of strength and a kind of beauty that resembles truth. Mira has an intense longing to be seen, not only on stage but also by the people who surround her, and her conflicting impulses and desires may be what ultimately destroys her, rather than any of the clichés one might expect.

But it might not be too late for Mira/Kate. Even if a forty-something woman is too old to resurrect a professional dance career, she might not be too old to be seen in other ways, to be valued for her strength and for a different kind of truth.